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WHAT DOES THE FAMILY SAY

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LIFESTYLE by KRISS on 08 april 2016

WHAT DOES THE FAMILY SAY Do you have to be an orphan to start traveling and living the life you want ? Certainly not I think but then lots of people don’t act on their dreams because of « this and that » and family can be a big « this and that ».

All families have different ways of functioning or malfunctioning of course and my reflexion in this post is more about what someone living a non standard life can expect from their family and what is actually helping.

Both Kate and I are blessed for this part, we have very understanding and independent families who have had a long time adapting to the fact we would not live close to them even if we did do that a moment.
From the very beginning of adulthood we both moved out of the nest not really looking back and not minding what any one thought.
Some might find it very selfish but not everyone is the same and I have a deep belief you don’t make children for yourself but for themselves.
I believe now as a parent of 3, my role is to guide them and succeed in preparing adults ready to thrive in their lives.
Also prepare them to face anything that may arise.
Never do I imagine my children as properties or extensions of myself, and I have no intention to stop them from accomplishing whichever dream they have for this life.

I know this is not a philosophy shared by everyone, some parents pressure their children into staying close by because they get depressed or worse when their little birds dare fly away from the nest.
Sometimes they don’t even realize it, it can be as simple as little statements such as « Oh I admire what you do, I could never do that, I can’t imagine having my daughter that far away from home ».
I believe this helps shaping the future frame of mind of our kids who can find themselves very frustrated at some point in their lives, facing a dilemma of their own desires and the « familytically correct » they grew up with.

Some kids are rebels and will go their own way whatever they have been told.
Most will have to reset what they have been taught.

If you wait for the right moment to do things, you will most likely never do much, you will only fit in the standard mould, wait for the first job, a promotion and a long term contract before seriously dating anyone, then get engaged then get married, buy a house and then have children, a boy and a girl, buy a dog, save for winter holidays skiing, a couple of weeks at the beach in summer.
Every two years, swap the beach holidays for mountain holidays.
Once every 10 years treat yourself to an extraordinary overseas travel for which you have saved for 10 years and you will actually brag along about it in family dinners and explain to the young shmucks who imagine they can travel on their own « you know I saved for 10 years for that couple of weeks in Asia ».
Then when your kids finally get out the house and have families of their own, if you are lucky, before they burden you with your grandparents duties, or if the in laws take care of that bit, you will get a few years, 5 to 10, after you retire to travel and finally do all the wonderful things you have been dreaming about for the major part of your life.
I you get a cancer or any other unfortunate event before that, your screwed, you whole plan to wait for the right moment reveals its weakness : the right moment to do things in life is here and now because no other moment actually exists.

Ok, let’s put aside the supermarket philosophy for a second.
As a father, a husband but also a son, a nephew, I have to find peace of mind with my actions, act upon my beliefs and desire but also take my closed ones feelings into consideration.
It took me time but I finally understood I would never satisfy everyone at the same time on the same subject.
In fact, most things in my life would conflict between various closed ones interests (starting with my 3 children).
My duty is to discern as well as I can without making it a self inflicted torture, what is the right and fair thing to do.
I missed that for a long time and disappointed my better half, my closest of all, the one who gives me her hand to hold wherever we walk.

Today, I live in harmony with my family core and I know some family members may be upset not to see us more often but they are kind and intelligent enough not to burden me with their complaints.
I appreciate it because it lets me enjoy a life of my own, flying with my own wings wherever I see fit !

And I believe it should be anyone’s right to do so.

#family #lifestyle #nomadiclife

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